Arrange Visitations After A Divorce
Custody rights have changed, meaning that both parents have access to their children via visitations. If you’re recently divorced, then you may be wondering how to plan visitations fairly. With courts insisting on joint custody, it’s up to the parents to work together. Doing so benefits the child, who gains a more stable upbringing with two parents.
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Here’s your step by step guide to organizing visitations.
Step One: Devise A Visitation Calendar
It can be difficult to get used to a new schedule, especially for children who are used to a routine. Therefore, it’s a good idea to create a calendar. Give it to your child with all the dates on visitation attached. They can then cross off the days until they get to see each parent.
TIP: Use color coding for extra clarity! Your child will learn to associate a particular color with the excitement of seeing you.
Step Two: Ensure Visitation Dates Match Your Schedule
Don’t just throw a schedule together in a hurry. If you do, kids will end up hurt and disappointed when you cancel on them. Both parents should sit down together and design a schedule they can stick to.
TIP: Consistency and regularity of visits are more important than frequency. Don’t make false promises.
Step Three: Consider Involving the Courts
Getting the courts involved should be a last resort, but it’s a good way to come to a fair agreement. The courts will be able to provide a regular calendar and will ensure each parent gets equal holiday time with the child.
TIP: Courts are great at making sure a child is with the right parent for Father’s and Mother’s Day!
Step Four: Allow Time for Friends
After your divorce, your children will find time with friends more important than ever. Don’t be too strict about spending time with your child. Give them the freedom to hang out with their mates, so that they don’t become frustrated by you. Their social life is incredibly important.
TIP: As children get older, social time becomes more important. Be willing to spend less time with them as they enter their teens.
Step Five: Be Flexible for the Sake of Your Child
Sometimes events clash. Whether it’s weddings, birthdays, or vacations. It’s important to be flexible and willing to give up your event if your partner is more important. The well-being of the child is paramount. Don’t be selfish and petty with your partner. If they have an important event, then let the child attend, even if it clashes with yours.
Planning visitations means working closely with your ex-partner. You have to be mature and make sure you always prioritize the child’s interests. Don’t let your partner take advantage of you, but also don’t try to take advantage of them. Be reasonable and flexible and your child will grow up happily, despite the divorce. Over time, you’ll get used to sticking to a fair schedule. This is the best way for both parents and child to move forward into a new way of life.
This information is not presented by a Marriage Counsellor and is for educational and informational purposes only.
This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional marital advice. Always seek the advice of a Marriage Counsellor or other qualified individuals who would be happy to advise you accordingly.
Never disregard professional marital advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read.
I do hope that this information will help you to focus on your marriage and take the necessary steps to reconcile with your partner. Wishing you all the best with your decision.
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